For some, odd client requests are a source of frustration but for others it can serve as nice distraction. We’ve all had to deal with requests from clients that are either plain daft or simply hilarious but chances are, you haven’t seen anything until you see the vast array of demands other web designers have faced.
So with a little help from Smashing Magazine, who asked for funny client requests on Twitter and Facebook, here is a collection of the funniest and most bizarre.
Common Requests
There are some demands from clients that almost all web designers will have come across, even multiple times and because of this, they aren’t usually the funniest or most bizarre. How many have you come across?
1. Bigger Logo
Probably the most requested of all time is to make the logo bigger or more ‘prominent’. Many clients seem not to recognise branding as a whole and think that the most effective way to improve that is by increasing the size of the logo.
The logo must be a 200% bigger
Source: Paz Odone (Facebook)
2. Hatred of Whitespace
Whitespace, as we know, is a very important ingredient in web design but some clients just don’t understand this and want everything crammed up into as small a space as possible.
Can we get rid of the whitespace ?
Source: Juanchi Salas (Twitter)
Source: Andrea Lozano (Twitter)
3. No Concept of Time or Money
Unfortunately some people just do not understand that building large websites take time and hard work to create and demand too much without wanting to pay appropriate prices.
Do this new static website (with 100+pages) TODAY!
Source: Robert Robles (Facebook)
I need an 8-page website with a shopping cart and a blog. For $300.
Source: Brianna Young (Facebook)
4. Believing they can Design themselves
Some clients think they are helping when they suggest design ideas and others think they can design themselves. This can lead to disastrous results.
We’re a serious company but dont wanna look too serious. You should put some swirls in the design. But not too many.
Source: Andrea Lozano (Twitter)
A client telling me he was disappointed by my lack of font creativity, and cant I use something edgier like Arial?
Source: Brooke (Twitter)
5. Copying other Sites
For some strange reason, some clients think it is ok to copy a competitor’s website and/or content to use as their own. They don’t realise that when web designers ask who their competitors are, they want to know so they can make their client’s site better and stand out from the crowd.
We want it to look just like that other site, but completely different.
Source: Andrew Speers (Twitter)
I want the same website’s structure as our competitor but make it different. We don’t want to be discovered.
Source: Stephanie (Twitter)
I don’t have any content. Can you just copy stuff from some of my competitor’s pages?
Source: Tom Markart (Facebook)
Other Great Examples
How to respond when clients ask if their website can have “xxxxxx” <insert client’s fav artist/song> playing in the background!!!
Source: Ant (Twitter)
Source: Karina Setiawan (Twitter)
Biscuit colour was fine on my monitor and her monitor but on his monitor it was too pink. Therefore please take all pink out of it.
Source: Leanne Yee (Twitter)
After presenting a new design for a company website, the owner leaned over, asked if she could suggest some changes to the layout, got out a black marker and started drawing the changes on my MacBook’s screen. I was stunned.
Source: Anonymous (Clients from Hell)
Can you make it look like it’s barking? (it was a frog)
Source: Craig (Twitter)
I know we need to pay you the 30% up front before you start; but if you could just start now as we need to show progress pretty quickly and we’ll get you the advance within 2 weeks or so.
Source: Anonymous (Clients from Hell)
Don’t put much information on our web site. We don’t want our competitors to know. Um, what about customers? Oh yeah, them.
Source: Steve Morris (Twitter)
It has to be animated cause it is a web page.
Source: Adriana Atzimba (Facebook)
Can we “Jazz” it up a little more – Sure, lemme just hit the Jazz button a few times in Photoshop.
Source: Matt Lambert (Facebook)
Can we use a lighter shade of black?
Source: Myself (Twitter)
Source: Leanne Yee (Twitter)
Can you make my web site [for his business as an electrician] look like this faux-marble print stationary I bought at Staples?
Source: Andrew (Twitter)
I showed this to my wife, she thinks a shade of blue might be better…
Source: Atom Groom (Facebook)
Can you add a dropshadow? (on a black background).
Source: Josh Cleland (Twitter)
Client: You know those links across the top of the home page?
Me: You mean the navigation?
Client: Yeah, we think it makes the page too busy. So we’ve decided to just have one link called Site and when you click on it, you get one of those drop-down lists. A list of all the pages on the site. Pretty cool, huh?
Source: Anonymous (Clients from Hell)
I’m not sure about the colour that youâ’ve used for the background, I guess it looks OK on screen but when I print it on our office printer it kinda reminds me of a pair of corduroys I had as a child.
Source: Anonymous (Clients from Hell)
Why can’t we use the pages you made for my old compagny in 1992, and just change the name and logo?
Source: Johnna E. Nonboe (Facebook)
Can you make it feel like Voom Voom but without the sound.
Source: Beth Anne Quirie (Twitter)
Can you use a “clear” background on my website? No, not white. Transparent.
Source: Daniel M. Davis (Twitter)
I really don’t see why we need this [insert essential thing to balance user experience with everything else on the page you were forced to include].
Source: Sergio Castro (Facebook)
I want a back button on the web site because I don’t like the back button on the browser.
Source: Conor Sullivan (Facebook)
Comic sans would look nice.
Source: Michelle Sullivan (Facebook)
Well, I have worked with a lot of designers in my day and I am of the opinion that if you are confident in your abilities to meet my expectations then being paid at the end would be fine with you. Ultimately you are paid for the end result, right? I shouldn’t have to pay you for making the effort.
Source: Anonymous (Clients from Hell)
Source: Megan Radich (Twitter)
Can you please remove the iStockPhoto watermark on the photos? I don’t think it adds anything visually.
Source: Anonymous (Clients from Hell)
When a visitor comes to my site I want it to check and see if my software is installed and if not the site automatically installs it without asking them whether they want it or not. So they aren’t bothered.
Source: Alan Marchman (Facebook)
The unicorns don’t look realistic enough.
Source: Anonymous (Clients from Hell)
Can you use ‘zig-zag’ writing?
Source: Paul Mayor (Twitter)
Can you make the site bigger? Its looks too small on this piece of paper.
Source: Noe Ruiz (Facebook)
Why do clients make such strange demands?
Often, funny and bizarre requests can be narrowed down to pure ignorance on the clients’ end. However, some requests can be attributed purely to stupidity on the clients’ part which are often the funniest. Usually the requests are of a personal desire rather than seeing things from the users’ point of view and what they would want and need.
What funny and/or bizarre requests have you received from clients?
Tweet
“I have found this great icon of 10x10pixels on the web, can you make it bigger in photoshop so we can use it on the banners on the front of our store?”
I think the most difficult is how to reply to these kind of questions… What do you say? I find myself taking a very deep breath every now and then and then very calmly diving in and trying to explain them why it isn’t such a good idea… But some clients can be really hard-headed and refuse to listen to any advice you give them…
I’ve had loads of funny client requests/comments but two from last week:
“I’d like you to build my 4 page website. I’ve already had a quote for £50, can you beat that?”
…and another after a long discussion on prices of ecommerce websites…
“well i’ll be doing all the hard work sorting out the content, all you have to do is provide the bricks and mortar which won’t take long at all.”
LOL – especially that part about unicorns
Client: “too much orange, too much green, can you make it just plain white?”. After the modifications: “It’s not punchy enough, can you just add some more colour? A little orange maybe? But not too yellow, just orange”
Fantastic post, sure everyone could share many more.
Whilst designing a serious brochure about disabled people, i’ve had “Can you make these ladies(90yr old women) on the front cover look like the charlies angels”
Why are clients so god damn difficult!?!
I’ve had a client ask if I could disable the printscreen button on the computer when people visit it because he didn’t want people to make screenshots of the products he sells…
or
I’ve got these pictures (50 in total) but I DONT want to show these (47/50) with each picture individually described…
“I love it, I really do! But this is why it sucks… And even though you followed all of my instructions to the letter, you’ll have to start over- because I didn’t know what I wanted.”
PS: “We’re not paying any more”
Oh I know that one well
i’d just turn around and say well were not making it for you anymore. plain and simple.
Occasionally a client will requests changes to their “web sight”… oye.
This post is so true…
haha. I dont know which is worse, the fact that there are clients out there that stupid or that I’ve heard at least half of those comments over the years. Some of my worst are when the clients ask you to design a logo, business card, letterhead, comp slip and throw together a few ideas for a website. Then I tell them my hourly rate and they ask if all that can be done in 1 hour……
And that is why I never give out my hourly rate unless absolutely necessary. I just forgot my own rule the other day and told a client the rate my quotes were based on. This immediately resulted in a 10-minute explanation of how those “billable” hours have to offset all of my time doing research and self-promotion. In the end, they actually agreed that the rate was more than fair. Some people just need a little help understanding the process. I have found that most people will welcome a little education and explanation as long as it isn’t patronizing.
Then again there is the occasional client who just doesn’t want to pay that much, regardless of what your hourly rate is.
I would laugh at these (well, OK, I AM laughing)…if they didn’t sound so eerily familiar.
“can we get rid of all those links, including: contact us, locate us, and about us. Oh and what is FAQ (pronounced fack). I don’t think we really need what ever that is either.”
LOL! Very funny. Good post!
LOL…these requests even make Jesus cry… And yet I’ve heard plenty of them (or similar ones)…
One I get is:
“Amazing! That looks perfect! Let’s go live ASAP.”
Then, the day of the launch:
“Let’s move this, change the size of that, update the color here and {comment about altering the entire layout}.”
This post made my day!
Thanks.
My favorite is the ones that deal with font sizes and colors. My next favorite is the one that pertains to clients requesting that their website look EXACTLY like the photoshop mock-up that they sent without the content or images in it. SMH!!!
Haha, some of these requests crack me up lol. Pretty sad these clientst actually excist.
oh soooo painfully familiar… i think i have heard several of them this week alone!
heheheheh
nice one ,i’m seeing tons of those clients every day
some clients think they are better than you
So many so true!
Just brilliant. Chuckles all round, thank you!
ANSWER: You hired me because I am a “Design Professional”. I don’t tell you how to run your business, so let me deliver a product that your competition will be envious of.
Good one.
Client: Please make the background the beige that I like. It’s the color of broken eggshells.
Client: Can you use Comic Sans, it looks really friendly.
Me: Well, I’m not sure if that would really fit the website…
Client: How about Paprus?
I laughed out loud at most of these. Such a great list!
“Can you make the browser transparent? I want to see what’s behind my monitor – I think our clients will love it!”
Stock Photo request: “I want a picture of a guy in a cowboy hat riding a Lion while smoking a cigar … oh, and he needs to have a Freemont High School Class of ’54 tattoo on his chest.”
I just had a funny client, first she said she doesn’t want her company’s phone number displayed on the web site because she doesn’t want o receive any joke telephones
than she has bought a domain and whan I’d wanted to connect it with the web site and asked for the password she said she has wrote there sth she does’t remember and didn’t write it down because she thougnt it had not been important, and there goes the domain that already is on billboards (the “forgot your password?” button doesn’t help because she doesn’t remember what she has anwsered 
(sorry for my english I couldn’t resist)
“Can you make it feel like Voom Voom but without the sound” I cant stop laffin at this one.
Had a great time reading this post and remembered a couple of similiar requests
My personal favourite from my own experience: when a client gave me some hand-written text-input for his website, I asked him if there’s a digital version of it. He answered “No, but in the afternoon I can type it down in word and fax it to you”. Didn’t want to offend him, so I told him my fax-machine was broken and if he could please mail it to me instead.
YOU. ARE. MY. HERO.
I think I just cracked a rib.
I’m developing a ‘New Client Orientation’ package that will describe the various concepts of the web and why certain things are not a good idea (blue text on red background?)
I hope to massage the tone just enough to where it isn’t condescending, but that it would get the point across about most of the basic things talked about in this article.
That’s a great idea, I’ve had that thought many a time. One day I hope to have a section of my site dedicated to that.
I can see all of these happening, that’s the worst part. I have to say, I love the “Voom Voom” one too. haha. not to mention transparent background.
The most true of all is the one about the client changing their mind after you’ve done everything they wanted, to the “T.” All included in the price…
Wow, this is hilarious. I’m glad I haven’t come across most of these clients!
Neither race nor religion, or politics. None of these things can unite so many people who think and act the same way as the simple fact of being “clients”. Or everyone has the same client, or they are a clone army – and they take the entire world. LOL.
Nice examples! My favorite from personal experience:
“Can we stop paying for hosting, and just leave the website up?”
lololol
This is great and so familiar!
From personal experience:
“Don’t bring your laptop, i’ve just printed the homepage” or (the logo thing) “Make the logo bigger by 16.57% please” and there are a lot like those…
Forgot another one, the greatest from all. After i’ve sent to the client a JPG of a new design of his new site: “I click the links and nothing happens!”
I avoid working with these types of clients as much as possible. I’m not a production artist, I’m an engineer with years of experience and talent that knows what he’s doing. If a client can’t respect that, I don’t want them as a client.
“I want my new site 1400px wide!”
I once had a client ask me to fax her a sample of 32-lb. bright white card stock paper.
“The continents are too far apart. Please reduce the width of the oceans”
sigh.
OMG this is pure gold! All these on one place… Genius idea!
I couldn’t help myself but to submit this post to Bump.
Thanks for putting these together. It made my day
After more than a decade and a half in the industry, I can say I have heard pretty much all of them, and worse!
My fave is from when I was working at a paper and the sales rep (who had done a two day colour and layout course) decided they wanted a classified ad that was 100% magenta border, 100% magenta text, 100% magenta logo, on a 100% magenta background. I brought it to my editors attention, so we sent them a magenta square for approval along with one that we thought suited the client better. Guess which one got picked.
Just this week I had the “dropshadow on black background, please.”
There called Fleutys in our company named after a past client.
Awesome, I was really enjoying reading this!
Once had a client that sold financial products. About six months after the site was published we spotted dummy text on the about us page. A week after removing it and adding slightly more relevant content we had the client called up furious at the removal of this dummy content. What surprised us most was that the dummy text was from was from the amazing Cambodian Midget Fighting League http://bit.ly/vQMYB
“Make make unicors look more realistic.. ” this was very funny
ahhahahahha…………wnevr i feel sad, i come to dis site n it makes me laugh…..thnx for sharing…i don’t know y client alwz think its a two minute job and white space to them is alwz……BLANK…lol….
Last week… the telephone rings.
Client: I need you to fix the web site you made.
Me: I’m seeing the site up right now, shows with no problem. Is your internet connection working?
Client: No, I don’t have internet, that’s why I’m calling you, the site is making my internet to fail.
Other client:
I don’t want my logo to be round, that is old fashioned… (Coming from an awfully dressed 60 year old man, with no taste)
My client sent me the content. I copied to website, than call me “there are many spelling errors on the “vebb-site”, please fix it”
Client: You have to give us good rates, ‘cos at the end of the year we evaluate our providers.
Me: It’s a good thing, we do the same with clients, if they are not profitable… out.
(Client stares at me)
Client: Are we good clients? (in a hole different tone)
Epic retort!
I can’t believe how much i’ve laughed at this post.
HAHA
Cool post!
Laughed my ass off! Epic Stuff, some of them familiar.
a copy past from a powerpoint that contained teh ‘storyboard’ or instructions for the job.
Read carefully:
Please use the same layout system as in phase 1:
– 4 chapters
– accessory indication with numbers on glory shots and accessory info in pop-ups
please change layout to avoid Dealers thinking that contents are the same as phase 1
I am definitely using some of these when I go meet a web design company tomorrow to discuss a project! Hahaha.
I know that your logo will appear in pixels, but how large is it in centimeters?
Ha Ha, you’ve got to laugh!
Reminds me of the video on YouTube “client vs designer”.
Just got another one :
“In Opera, the checked radio button is blue, i want it to be green”
Amazing how many people *think* they know design…and even more amazing how many people don’t do the simplest a/b testing…
From years back, from a boss, sent via email:
“Can you email me a pdf of the email we sent out to the database this morning?”
Me: Stares at request for ten minutes, then goes to boss’ office.
Me: Um, yeah. About this request. You want me to email you…a pdf…of the email…that I just sent to everyone?
Boss: Yes.
Me: Can I not just…forward the email to you?
Boss: You could, but I want to forward this to a client.
Me: Can I not just forward it to him?
Boss: Well, I want it in PDF format so that he can’t copy anything in it and use it for himself.
Client: We want to use a landing page for the home page.
Me: Um, okay. Are you setting up some kind of sales copy letter?
Client: No, this is for our ecommerce site.
Me: …
I had a client give me a stack of hand painted paint swatches for all the colors she wanted to use on her site (frustrating enough) and then was furious when she printed out the site and held the printed pages beside the swatches and they didn’t match.
this post was awesome and 100% the true
“We want it to look just like that other site, but completely different.”
i dont know how many times i’ve encountered this myself. its like all clients go to super secret meetings conspiring on what other funny requests they can ask from designers! lol
lots are really /facepalm worthy lol
very cool post o/
Oh so many perlers on there, my fav from a client of ours was: “Please, Please turn off my site, im getting too many orders, ill end up having a breakdown” – when we checked the order volume, she had about 5 orders sat waiting for her.
Great Post. I really enjoyed reading it.
You can also find some interesting videos about this subject here: http://www.makemylogobiggercream.com/
Client: Could you remove the web designer’ credits from the website… at the end of the day it is our website…
THESE ARE HILARIOUS.
“please, I’ll be wearing black in the photo, so make it [cd cover] look dark and plain..so black bg, and my name in gray lowercase avant garde font”
-sees the design…”excellent dude.. I LOVE IT!! Honey, look at this..” [wife mumbles]
-”nah man, make it white or blue, she thinks the black makes me look satanic and I’m beginning to see what she’s talking about – sorry, can you? please.”
SOLUTION:
>>>DEMAND them to have the latest skype so YOU can do screenshare calls. Charges that follow are justified cause they literally designed it.
Great to hear everyone else experiences EXACTLY the same problems throughout the world…. a classic one is “But I’ve seen / been offered a website for £100″ which I always come back with “Pay peanuts, get monkeys”. Quite often a good idea to steer clear of clients with this attitude.
Also “Why do I have to pay £50/£200/£1000 a year for hosting for my CMS/E-Commerce driven website? I’ll be the one updating it.” My reply “Yes and I’ll be the one on the end of the phone when you call up and ask ‘Why does the text look all big’… then I’ll be the one correcting it and NOT invoicing you for my time”.
FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Collating all these true-yet-whacky situations and putting it up for the design tribe in itself is no mean task.
“Gradients from red to green.”
That’s funny in hindsight, but I don’t know how I’d react at the time!
Hey guys,
did u know the images of your posts dont show up in the RSS reader… maybe you want to fix that. Other than that… great work!
Kat, what RSS reader are you using?
These comments are so true! On a development side I had a clients *techy guy* tell me I should not be using CSS as the server doesn’t like it and it might fall over.
Me: “Here´s the design for your book cover”
Client: “I…kind of not like it. Let´s change some things”
The client sits to “design” with me. After nearly 2 hours of horrible changes, I show the new design and the original design to compare.
Client: “You know what? The original design it´s way better. Let´s use it!”
I’ve worked with so many clients who want to fill every pixel of a page. WHY? I left it there for a reason!!!
Hilarious post! I think I have a strong contender:
“Could you please take out the paragraph starting “Lorem ipsum…”, even if it’s good for search engines or whatever I think it will just confuse people on the homepage.”
Unbelievable
Probably the most requested of all time is to make things better , bigger or more ‘prominent’ but not with given the right way to do it. That’s clear for me that web site can be far more efficient with a right understanding and previous workshop. All in one standard contents dans design loose your time, money and attractiveness.
Great article !
It’s really true.
hahhahahahahaha *lorl*
Haven’t laughed this much the whole year [get it *ha-ha*]
More of this please!
This was really a clever post and I saw and heard so many faces and voices of people I’ve actually dealt with while reading this.
After designing about 20 pages of a food court website, completely done, project delivered and paid for: “Actually, I forgot to tell you that this one restaurant won’t be there next year. It is changing to a Mexican restaurant. Can you think of a good name? We were thinking Si Si Sombreros…but can you give us an idea or two? But can you just switch out the web pages for that one?”
and: “This web site is for me, not the customers. I want something that makes sense to me and what I like. The customers don’t even use it.”
AND: “What about the splash page?”
Fantastic!
A favourite quote from a client of mine:
“So you left-aligned the text for better SEO?”
Client: This label is a sh**!!
Designer: what is wrong?
Client: It doesn’t have the ingridients!!
Designer: But you give me none!
Client: I know, but is still a sh**!!
Designer: what else is wrong?
Client: just the ingridients, the rest is just fine.
Client: give me a 20% discount for fast pay, i’ll give you half now and half at the end os the month (the work was already done!). And if you don’t give me the discount i don’t want the design!
There are so many things that i remember more “shiny” pieces from my clients like “why the color of the labels printed in my printer is not the same of the printed product (Pantone color)”.
And my old boss one say to me “I want to analize the web site of this client, print it, all in grayscale, everything” 300+ pages printed later “analize it and give me a diagram of the structure” at this momment you will think, what is wrong with this request? he is a designer, and some other times asked me to print web site to show it to the client so he can see the pregress!
sick! hahahaaaa!
I have never come across any of these. But I can never be surprised …
my best ever to add to this mix. emailed client a JPG mockup of the site. manager approves and forwards to his boss.
boss lady then calls me fuming that I would even submit this to her! i ask why? she says how can someone even read the text it is so light gray, and the photos are all pink and red?
smh wtf lead to me driving to her office to see for myself. since the boss lady is too ‘busy’ to read her own emails, her secretary had printed it for her. apparently without the skills to realize the printer had run out of blue ink, she handed her boss a really crap looking print out.
i explained that to her, she looked at me like I was lying. i then asked if she had shown the project manager her complaint, and she said “no i figured i would call you directly”. and there went 2 hours down the drain (drive + meeting).
I just had a great one last week.
“Can we have to logo tiled in the background of the website?”
Client: Can you also fix my computer while you’re here?
Me: -.-
I had a client who wanted a logo for his finance venture.
Initially he wanted an all text logo. After i presented a couple of artworks, this guy approved it and asked me to work on the web layout. The next day he asked me to add a blue globe somewhere. A day after approving that, he said globe is not good and he needs a puzzle block. Next came four puzzle blocks joined with one puzzle of different color.
I had to say no tht stupid at last for wasting my time a lot.
I had a client once that approved anything I did. He said: “It’s very good, I like it. It’s a great idea. But we don’t want this.” He continued to do the same at every stage of the process. Everything was good, but he didn’t like it.
I once had a client for a small printing company that wanted to put a mascot in the form of a cartoon dog. After reluctantly fulfilling this request, the client eventually changed his mind…..and wanted a lion instead.
“Can you have the lion Rawring?. I feel that this could make the website POP”.
Yes, he spelled the word as “Rawring”.
Ha ha…made my day!!
I once had a client who insisted that I keep the website online but ‘lock’ the website for [some] country because he feared that the people from that [some] country would steal his boxing gloves designs!!
Very true about whitespace negotiation. Maybe people feel they must fill in a space to get their monies worth from a graphic designer?
I don’t know… In any event… I am glad I am not a machine operator anymore and have moved on to “less creative” venues.
great post
I once had a client who asked me to design her a website which had lots of dots in the design…I did as she asked and when I sent her the proof she asked me why it didn’t look like the attached image she sent back….the image was a gingham wallpaper…total nightmare.
I have a huge problem with clients being anti-whitespace mostly due to the fact that I design a lot of UI for data-driven systems for internal use. They don’t understand that it makes it easier to read with some whitespace. But I have a better story.
I designed a nice simple and clean interface for an ecommerce site.
Client: I don’t like the header, it’s too simple. Can you add something to it?
I added some abstract graphics to make it a little more complex
Client: I don’t like that. Can we add the Chicago skyline? (note: for some reason, businesses anywhere near Chicago want the Chicago skyline on their site somewhere)
I added an outline of the Chicago skyline to keep it on the abstract side.
Client: You can’t even tell what that is, can you add an actual photo
I desaturated a photo and blended it into the blue of the interface.
Client: There’s no color, it looks to old-fashioned and flat.
I gave in and put a color photo in the header. This project is still in development after 2 years, so at this point I’ll do anything to get it out the door. next thing I know, there’s going to be an animated gif of a waving American flag. I happily removed our credit from the site when the client asked for that.
Real facts! I would like to laugh, but I can’t…
At a client from furniture industry:
“All right, the website is up and running now, it looks great, but the ‘news’ and ‘blog’ sections are empty. Could you pls. generate a few dozen articles with photos?”.
I started to type: “Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet…”.
I frequently get asked by clients to keep all the information and design within the “page” – in other words, so they don’t have to scroll. Trying to explain to them that everyones’ screens will be different because of monitor-sizes, resolutions, and browsers (and additional toolbars), not to mention if they have set default larger/smaller fonts, or if they are using a phone, unfortunately doesn’t get me very far :-/
I know where you are coming from. I had a client yell at me because when she “printed off the website” the pages didn’t flow evenly between the A4 pages. I told her that websites aren’t really designed for that purpose, she told me I was “stupid”.
No way I had a client like this a few years ago, he insisted no scrolling, and then proceeded to give us more text than could fit onto the screen without scrolling. Apparently he wasn’t that good with computers.
So we changed the entire site, after having coded the approved designs, to not scroll, and later he said he thinks scrolling might be ok
I was seeing red in my mind, nothing else, just red
Wow pure gold….
The clients I like are print based clients (often other designers) usually in their 40s and 50s who just don’t get the web. So they will print out the page and then put a ruler on it – or better, put a ruler on the screen. I had one once who complained that the webpage wasn’t as big on his laptop as it was on the 24 inch desktop.
We: unfortunately Google Maps does not have this function
Client: Have you talked to them to add it?
No Concept of Time or Money – The sites just make themselves…
Totally second the “keep design within the page” request. Recently a client even complained that his website’s content didn’t fit a 600px netbook screen vertically and asked (guess what) if we couldn’t remove all this whitespace. I ended up creating a special “low screen version” users can switch on or off.
Client: “can we make the design look more slicker?”
Me: “what do you mean by slicker?”
Client: “I dunno, maybe change the colors to black and gold, like the old website.”
Me: “I thought you hated the colors of the old website?”
Client: “I do. But maybe they will make this site look slicker.”
Me: “what do you mean by slicker?”
Client: “I mean like black and gold.”
One time I worked for somebody that ends up being a middle man, the job was a newspaper add, and everytime i give her some options she said “I don’t like option 2 nor 4, i want so and so” next day she says “we will work with 2 and 4, but do the changes i told you” next day “keep 2 and 4 as they where, but do this other changes” the real client like the options the middle one don’t, finally I fund out she was possing as a designer and she wasn’t, when she has the design try to change it and messed all up, the add never reaches the newspaper, afortunatelly I get paid, have to tell the check bounce and take almost a week to actually have the money.
Client: I want this text to blink
Me: sorry, the W3 Consortium outlawed the Blink tag due to overusage in the mid 90′s
Client: Oh, I really wanted it to blink. So people would know it was important
Me: yeah, sorry, it’s illegal. I can’t do it
Jesus, I am going through this right now with a client…
“Can we make the fonts bigger it looks too small on my 1080p LCD television at 1980×1080 resolution at 15 feet away”
yeah this all stuff is funny but sadly this is the truth. There are so many clients asking me stupid things too, they don’t know anything about typography, colours, white space but they thing they are top designers too.
hhahaahaha !!!
Would you be able to move the image half a pixel to the left ???
that was the FUNNIEST Request everrrr
Saddly I heard that before!!
I’m a contract web designer/developer at the moment at my current client you wouldn’t believe how many times in the css files for their website I’ve seen half pixels like a width of something is 150.5px! It never ceases to amaze me.
Here is what my client just wrote to me: “Please can you start working on this right now? Because I’m sending it to you quite late.”
I had a client who at first knew precisely what mood she wanted the website to have. It was supposed to be energetic, full of power and alive. All righty then. I thought this will be a breeze.
After awhile though, she wanted the background to be blue. I tried to reason with her that blue is a calm and secure color and not that energetic. Well that didn’t do it because after that she wanted it to be the brightest blue possible. I told her that it wont work as a background. It’s too retro and it will over power everything.
Nothing worked. I even tried to change her mind by showing the page with different variations of blue. Light blue was too dreamy or icy and dark blue was too marine. It had to be the brightest-head-and-eye-aching blue…
I have literally had the half-pixel request. Was doing a cover design, client asked to move an element a little to one side. I moved it exactly 1 pixel. She said that was too much and could I move it back a smidge.
What I hate most is when clients request 2-3 different designs to see if they like it and don´t want to pay for this, because they want to buy it after they have seen it…
as messed up as it sounds the customer is right. If you do it your way you end up loosing money.
many customers wont pay for the work that you did on the logos that they didn’t want. its kind of like if you take your car to the body shop to do some designs on it. once the body shop finishes you look at it and you really dont like it and make them change a few things. if the job was $300 you wouldn’t pay them $300 x 3 where 3 is the amount of times they redid it. You would just pay $300 + some minor labor fee. or just $300.
This post is so cool, I cannot believe some requests we get here at my office sometimes…The Oatmeal made a wonderful cartoon about this, check it out, it is really, really hilarious (http://theoatmeal.com/comics/design_hell)
Him: I don’t like it. Do this.
Me: /thinking/ that’s gonna look awful.
several days later:
Him: No, do this instead.
A Week Later:
Him: I like the way you had it the first way.
I have learned NEVER EVER EVER EVER delete anything in the progress b/c most times, they’ll ask you to go back to point A because point Z32 they came up with doesn’t work.
what i do is once i have completed the site i make a full copy of its pages , db structure, everything and puit it in a folder labeled company name v1.
then show it to the client if they want changes , i make them and before showing it i do the above each time. even after it has been 100% delivered i still do the backups and keep them. never ever delete them incase anything happends you want to be safe. Even when your redesigning a website from another developer who didnt do whata the customer wanted. keep the old one backuped as the origional.
Talking about a PDF catalog: “The images wont expand when i click on them.”
One of my clients had no idea about sending images. Each time I asked them to send me an image/logo for their website they ALWAYS sent it inserted into a Microsoft Word document. When I tried explaining that you can just attach the images themselves to an email, they replied with “that’s ok, its easier to do it my way”.
Brilliant,
The best I had was:
client: “please can you ensure that the logo spacing is exactly three squirrel paws?”
me: “I’m sorry, I don’t quite understand?”
client: “the logo; it needs to have three squirrel paws of space around it”
me: “and what is a squirrel paw?”
client: “it’s the length of the squirrels paw in the logo, we want the space around the logo to be exactly three of those please.”
All very, very familiar and hilarious. Made me have deja vu
We were called “extortionists” because we couldn’t update her website right away- her former web programmer didn’t standardize the codes which affected her customized shopping cart.
Numbers 4 and 5 are so true. I always start out telling them that they think in images of a web page and then I show them how to see page source- somehow they understand how much complex a site is after this.
I totally relate, couldn’t agree more with all comments and observations, in fact I never cease be amazed a client requests they are so unpredictable and irrational. However I would like to point out that I believe these niggles are something that irritates younger and less experienced designers, basically these are your clients they don’t know these things, because they are not designers they are however probably experts in patter chatter making their clients feels good or delivering the best reclining chair spring technology. If they knew the things you do they might not actually need you.
I was thinking about this because I had a new builder round to my gaff, now whilst I am a little handy with a hammer, I felt like I knew nothing in comparison to our new guy. What he did which was very unique for a builder was explain everything he was talking about and explained it well, and in a language we could understand. He even showed us how to the odd job for myself! After he left I was left confidence of an expert and the satisfaction that my house was in good hands. So I was happy to give him the work and he can expect more questions from me because I am his customer I want to know what’s going on. I bet some of my questions like “Can we knock this wall down?” were the builders equivalent to the classics “My sons friend has a GCSE in art, so my son did this drawing of a bowl of fruit I was hoping to use it as my logo…”
The lesson here Hold your clients hand throughout the design process, explain your reasons and make sure they understand what they are getting. A client that understands what you are doing is a client that will learn to trust you. It takes time but that’s the nature of the beast, make sure you document and evidence your knowledge they will see your the real deal. I’m sure you all are but be nice, be patient you will be rewarded and they will love you.
Oh and in case you never heard this…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5AxwaszFbDw
I once had a client who asked for his site to have a holistic feel???
He also asked for the site to look healthy and it should make people feel better ??? I asked him how it should do that and he said that was my job as the designer !!!!
lol, actually its possible. colors are really powerful psychologically.
These are really funny! Oh, the things people say. LOL.
I had a client tell me today that gradients were “old fashioned”.
(From a new marketing VP critiquing a site that’s been up for a year. She instead wanted very square, “clean” – the most meaningless word in client feedback aside from “pop” – boxes to contain every piece of content. This for a site showcasing a cosmetic wrinkle smoothing product. Smoothing. Removes lines in the skin. Softens folds so that they blend. Softens. Blends. Sigh.)
Just recently I was told that a design needed “more spice.” Obviously that is not serious criticism, but it was the only feedback received.
Design, and art are subjective, much of our job as is to promulgate meaning in the individual elements that make up a whole idea… We are consolers, educators, and psychologists. That is why many great designers make $100+ an hour.
Michael Bierut has an awesome talk about clients on Vimeo.
http://vimeo.com/9084072
Client reviewing folder draft: “There is just one tiny thing: Can you use a different font for this headline over here – it has this 1980s feel to it.” Font used was Garamond Premier italic decorative
. Also: “What do you think about a dark border around each page?” (Pages are plain white and feature large greyscale portraits). Well, if this was an obituary…
there was this one client who called and said:
Client: i want the best website and very high quality with the cheapest price possible.
Company: We provide the highest quality websites and this is our price
Client: hang up.
3 months pass (he went to other companies looking for quotes.)
Client: ok I want to start.
there was a client who wanted a 8 page website and you know how websites general follow the same look and feel on every site? well this client wanted each page to look 100% completely different…. the pages weren’t small they were designed in illustrator where some fonts were incredibly small and impossible to read and others where huge i mean really huge. along with each page being i’d say about 5 pages long in height. and since he wanted fonts to be used that web sites dont render he had made them as an image and this was about 80% of each page.
i asked why not have each page have the same look and feel he said i just want to try it….
just imagine how messy the html would’ve been. i wanted to create it tableless since i hate tables but with that idea in mind it took forever to make. the site ended up never getting finished and i just gave up.
they kept adding ideas
I had sent a prototype to the client a couple of days ago. On reviewing it, he says : “I asked you to send the CMS link. What is this? this is an image.”
He actually wanted me to complete a 100 page CMS website in 5 days. lol…
“Print the website out and put in in a binder so I can edit it.”
After reviewing the binder with over 600 pages, he said, “The pages are not in order. You need to set up the pages so when people print the site, the pages will be in order.”
OMG!!!!! Your client’s expectation of ppl printing out the site has me speechless O.o
Against my instinct I decided to take on a project with a guy who appeared right from the start to be stubborn and have limited knowledge of how a website should work. So I decided to make sure my design contract was very specific. I included the exact number of pages I thought he needed based on the content he sent. He wrote back and said he wasn’t sure the number was right, and that he actually thought he needed 17 1/2 pages. Confused at how he would think he needed a 1/2 page of web design, I looked and realized he thought each page of the Word document translated into a literal page of web design.
After that he proceeded to refuse to even consider shortening his navigation links (each link was essentially a small sentence), then started telling me where everything should go on the page – navigation should be above the logo, but vertical, so that the length of the links would work. Then he said something along these lines “Don’t use red. Actually, don’t use any primary colors. Except on this page, you can use red, but only if you use photo #1 and the same red that’s in the photo. And stick with the Rockwell font.” – I ended up dropping him as a client, and when I tried to explain that he seemed to want to control every aspect of his website before even seeing any of my design ideas, he claimed that he was just trying to give me an example of what he wanted, because he looked at all the work in my portfolio and every website he knew of and couldn’t find a single thing he liked about any site.